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  • Writer's pictureHannah Telluselle


I don't think anyone missed the chaos we saw on the news with people trying to cross the border from Mexico to Texas into the United States. How can it become like that and what does this leave me? Do I need to do the same?

I was told by an attorney before I left, to just go back without a visa, but with a waiver, because of my deportation in 2012. The waiver forms have expired and I still need to wait until 2022 unless someone petitions for me, it seems. However, if one file for refugee status, none is required. Then I would go to Montreal first, simply, and in that way, like I already have when I was an exchange student upstate New York 1988-89. Am I a refugee? It depends on the category, especially now when I have been excluded from the Swedish welfare system as someone listed living abroad, even though I'm not. But that's just me. What about those crowds?

How can thousands of Haitians suddenly decide to go with only a small backpack to cross the river? To me, it looks like they're following the crowd literally, with a hope not grounded in reality. What are they thinking? What is their plan? And even if they would be able to enter the United States, then what? Don't they understand that they: a) can be hunted down by ICE at any minute and deported b) need to have US social security numbers and id, in order to be able to work since nobody employs you without one c) need money to live on meanwhile. I want to feel safe, by authorities, not chased by, which I can't in Sweden, and can in the United States.

How many years does it take to capture a known man and put him to trial for what he has done and is doing against me? I bet there isn't even any appeals to be necessary to get welfare, would I have to. I wouldn't have to deal with any of it in the US. Just move in to my own little studio with kitchenette, or rent a room, start working, perhaps even resume studying like 10 years ago, explore how to start my business, and sell lots of books. And keep working online with translations through Upwork meanwhile. Isn't it good to be prepared and have a plan?

So many times we read about the undocumented immigrants who gets help with even citizenships, I have begun to wonder if I rather should become one myself. But I don't want to. I want to see the border as a boundary and receive help to put mine down.

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