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  • Writer's pictureHannah Telluselle

Learning to relate

Updated: Mar 21, 2023

In the self-help genre, it's often said that we attract what happens to us for a reason, including assaults and the like. This can be hard to digest, but there also are profound lessons to learn, such as learning to increase our integrity, learning to set firmer boundaries and stepping out of a victimhood. The question is of course, then why have I attracted a stalker into my life? In what way can I learn something from this? Can it even serve me? Well yes, it's a good example to compare with when others have slandered me with false accusations, and it might even give me a visa in the United States, perhaps not so much because he has stalked me all these years, but that the Swedish police and courts haven't done anything to stop him, together with their treatment of me.

The Hawaiian way of Ho'oponopono includes this way of thinking, with the add of taking responsibility for any harm we have induced on others, and forgiving others as well, by finding out how we can relate.

In the case of my stalker, I can recognize that I too have felt unrequited love, and most of all, have wanted more from my relationships than others have with me. I have wanted to be friends with acquaintances and I have wished that some of my male friends would have become my boyfriends. Thus, it's easy for me to understand and relate to the emotional aspect of his stalking. It does, however, not excuse it, or make the threat any lesser.

The point is, if we want to believe that our experiences in life always can provide us with lessons, learning how to relate, must be one of the more important ones. When we have learned how to relate, we can exercise more compassion.

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