One of the things, I've found so hard to overcome in Sweden, is being given the permission by others to move on. I really dislike drama and don't hold onto grudges of any kind, but do fight for my right to move on, to move forward and to realize my goals and plans that are in no way, shape or form, any kind of threat to anybody, but perhaps seen as competitive by envious, insecure people, who are still stuck where I used to be. Perhaps that is the answer, to why so often people want to keep us in the same relational standing as we used to be, because otherwise it would require them to change. Or even to admit a wrong...
An example I have, is from my time down south of Sweden. I used to work in advertising at a couple of various agencies. At my first, however, I had an affair with a co-worker, that didn't end well and I was let go. Nonetheless, and much thanks to my mentor back then, I moved on as soon as I got a new job and met another guy. After a while, however, I learned of rumors going around and overall I didn't feel valued at my then current workplace, so I decided to start studying at the university, to deepen my understanding of the dynamics between individuals, organizations and society. A couple of years in, I saw a job opportunity in the advertising again and decided to apply for a position.... only to hear that since I had had an affair with a co-worker, but not at all associated with that firm, five years prior, I wasn't welcome. FIVE YEARS PRIOR. Half a decade. I had moved on! The same thing with a woman photographer, who said no to taking pictures of me to my first book in 2008. So? Another photographer did! I moved on. But she apparently didn't. Instead, this became another obstacle put in my way, for 15 years, I kid you not. Maybe some people have nothing else to talk about but gossip about others? Or simply are sad people desperately seeking approval in awkwards way of trying to mimic but always misunderstanding. But why not then seek it elsewhere?
If there's something I learned through life, it's that it's way too short to not let go of anyone, or anything, that robs us of our peace, joy and love.
Is this cultural phenomena Swedish, or general to all humans? Have we not learned the importance of staying present by now? To support each other on our way forward, rather than to obstruct?
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