Transforming guilt into responsibility
Updated: Aug 8, 2021
Another of those belittling negative emotions we sometimes feel, is wrong guilt. Right guilt is your conscience that you should feel after doing something knowingly that was harmful to yourself, others or to the environment. Wrong guilt is often imposed by others trying to belittle you in an effort to exert themselves, or to hide their own fear of competition or sense of having their vulnerability exposed.
For many years, I felt guilt whenever I fell ill. As if having an upset stomach would be my own fault, or simply that I should be stopped from saying no to what I had a gut-feeling about, besides stress and needs. Isn't it the same for bullied kids who become sick and don't want to go back to where they are being harmed? Should society then place all responsibility onto them? My guess is that some people even believe falling ill is God's punishment. It's not. Sometimes it might even be to temporarily stop you from being harmed or taken advantage of. Or to teach you how to take better care of yourself.
It's a matter of claiming responsibility for what's in our power to control. It's when we break our own rules, or go against our own needs, we can and should feel guilty. Not for what others do to us. Or intend to do.
Sometimes others even seemed to want me to be ill, as if to not be competed with, or simply feel superior to, perhaps carried out subconsciously. To feel sorry for me, rather than see me as their equal (or better than). And at times, it's simply that I'm being stalked and threatened that makes me feel ill. But what others are doing, or not doing, is up to them.
It's the people I attract when I'm at my best, that I want to have in my life, to be part of my positive growth.
So, what can you take responsibility for? What did you choose and decide? Are there any areas where someone has let you know you have harmed them? Is it possible they feel harmed? What can you do to stop that? What do you need to stop yourself from doing so you can become better? And what do you need to start doing? Be compassionate.
Taking responsibility in action enables you a true sense of empowerment that in itself will propel you forward with more energy. Choosing who and what to say no to, isn't possible until you have said yes to yourself. Start now!
Want to discuss how to set new boundaries and improve your life? Book an appointment with your favorite Lifecoach!