Shielded through the heart
Two middle aged Japanese men plays ping pong while I sit and munch on my little lunch (potato-chips, carrots and hummus, water of course, and dark chocolate with caramel together with some gluten free crispbread), I hope to calm my hunger a little and curbe my fatigue after another sleepless night, this time spent at McDonald's, first in good company with a Danish former fisherman. Early this morning an American elderly couple came in for breakfast and I couldn't help but smile with a sense of relief when I overheard that they had just arrived from Hawaii! The man reminded me of Pearl Harbor veterans, maybe he's associated with.
Back to Japanese influencing, and my search for both a culture and an environment for me to live well in, a place where both can support and become the soil I need to blossom in my grounded and new developed sense of identity. It's about knowing when to file in line and bow, and when to let our free will rule. All not only under God, but also in the dynamics of other humans in motion.
I look at the two men and catch the ball for them whenever it gets lost. They're standing far from the table to hit big. But focused. For a moment I think of Fredrik Olsson, a guy who was an exchange student in the US at the same time I was, from my old Swedish High school and town area, and that connection we had. He used to be part of table-tennis tournaments. And our embrace at the JFK airport in NYC at the end of the year, when we met again to return together. Preceding my life in Hawaii.
My little Angel Rose wants to play with the pingpong ball I think. It landed inside my purse once for me to interact and be part of the present with a lifegiving smile, a smile for the two middle aged men letting their inner children play! For her, to stretch in ability to move something light as a feather. It's a secret of course. Perhaps this paragraph must be excluded in a possible published blogpost or book. We'll have to see about that. Should I dare write more like I used to in my diaries? It would show the world more of who I am. But do I really want that plagiarised and taken too? Would I become even more stalked?
I'm at DGI-byen in Copenhagen when I write this and go for a walk to explore. High rise ceilings and feeling protected, I naturally can relax and expand, seeing a floor space that could be used for dancing Modern, and feel how I return into my dancer self - the one claiming her place with the right to do so. No ego in the way.
Do I dare to dream and design like this huge space? Do I want Telluselle Living Center to look like this? No, I don't. My design looks and taste are different with the bamboo as its focus. But, I must dare to dream big again.