Any time we say yes to something, it usually implies a no to something else, or to someone else. The same goes the other way around. Saying no to someone or something, enable us to better say yes to someone or something more desired. How do we then choose? What comes first? Love or sex? Can we trust in attracting something, or someone, better?
I've experienced sexual chemistry that I know is fleeting, but yet something that can be lived out and enjoyed, would I want to. I've also felt fond of someone that I truly respect and cherish but wasn't sexually attracted to. There is my dilemma.
This is also one of the reasons, why I'm single. I need to be living where I want to first, to be able to build a relationship, rather than rely on pure chance meetings. I have yet to figure out who and how with, but feel no rush to, how strange that may sound at 52. The real issue seems to be the rare occasion of both falling in love, instead of just fitting into our psychological dramas. It's indeed a specific feeling. I think, we can feel connected on various levels, such as physically and intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. Which level is most important? Which needs are being met through your partner, and can one person fulfil all?
Every person is unique and thus our relationships too. Each comes with their own set of specific dynamics. The question is not about whom, but about how. How is it for you?