• Hannah Telluselle

Food is life

Have you ever been hungry but without food and money? I have.

Have you ever been locked up and refused food, or been served what might make you sick? I have.

Have you ever felt sick to your stomach and told you are mentally ill? I have.

There is nothing more fearful, debilitating and dehumanizing, than not being allowed to buy and cook your own food. There was a time 10-15 years ago, when I shoplifted food regularly to survive in Sweden. This was because I lost my sick-pay and had to wait for months to get social security, which too later was withdrawn in part. Thank God, I was never caught with anything more than chocolate and medicine, which you in fact can argue is an emergency.

At FDC Honolulu, during ICE's incarceration, I had to fight to get a gluten-free diet, including with what simply was available in their regular kitchen. I lost lots of weight and had to take more medicine, than I otherwise would. It became like a political battle, which I truly detest, since that implies an intellectual approach, rather than acting out of compassion and respect.

And now, I have been held at a psychiatric ward in Sweden for threatening someone by email, for almost exactly a year. The woman receiving the threat, was apparently an inspiration to my Swedish social security clerks, who withdrew my extra 30 USD to buy gluten-free products. Here, I'm supposed to receive gluten and lactose free diet, which I do most of the time, at least for breakfast and evening. However, the majority of lunches and dinners, that are ordered and prepared elsewhere, I simply don't think so, given more weight loss and getting sick. And while buying snacks is welcome, it doesn't substitute my actual needs.

My stomach sensitivity started when I was 9 years old, which had me refuse eating and not being able to sleep. I felt threatened. Even though my Dad himself, has similar symptoms and is allergic to milk, he and my mother assumed that I was making it up and/or mentally ill. Back then, there were no gluten tests performed on me.

I just know, myself, what makes me feel well and what doesn't. I don't see how my physical symptoms together with the wrong food, would be some kind of insanity. I think it is cruel, including by the Swedish government. Who looses what to let me live a free, independent life? Someone who can't take my competition, or just is of pure evil?

More about this in my books.

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