When I go back to the United States, I don't want anything, or anyone, from Sweden following me there, neither in person, nor online, apart from my own financial obligations (such as paying back my student loan). This is the purpose, besides having to apply for a waiver, for my hesitation to go back sooner. I want to be able to focus forward and use all my energy for my physical health, work and relationships. Getting closure, however, does require not only my own ability to close a chapter, but also getting authorities to act on my behalf to investigate what I've reported.
To close a chapter personally, I've found it immensely helpful to write it all down, to work through the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer, and to regain my peace. This of course, is also much easier, when I don't have any emotional attachments or desires myself to anyone here, any longer.
To close a chapter officially, was actually something I set out to do already in 2009, when my ambition was to go to and remain in the United States, have my book published, and to start working with another visa, to eventually renounce my Swedish citizenship and become American. First and foremost because I've always found much inspiration in the States, but more importantly, also because I've felt a looming darkness and viciousness aimed at me by Swedish authorities already then. I might have been persecuted already to a certain degree, but I didn't know the word, or its profound meaning. Now, unfortunately, I do. The question then is, how do we get authorities to act on our behalf, when they don't and refuse to answer, just like any private citizens we've come in conflict with? The only way I know, is by going out in the media, which I'm very tired of, as well as being hindered for many years now, or to ask another higher authority to. I have therefore both contacted the UNOHCHR in Geneve, on my own behalf in 2016-18, as well as the European Union's court in Strasbourg in 2021, besides sharing my circumstances both with German and Portuguese people and police, when I've been there, and the FBI and CIA.
What do Sweden need from me, to let go?