Looking for my rizz
I've called it my "oomph", or perhaps "pizazz", but apparently the real word for it, is rizz, although being it two things, one for performing and one for romantic relationships. I've always been told that my face is like an open book, that my face displays all my emotions clearly. Something that was good on stage, when I was younger and into acting. Into my early adulthood though, I began to question myself. Was I showing my true self, or was I playing an act among my peers too?
During my soul searching, I looked inwardly for my spiritual light, and found it. But along the way, I had to fight so much for my survival, that I completely lost my ability to turn my personal charisma back on. I managed to bring it forth again, when I was in Honolulu 2012, talking to an ICE-officer I particularly liked (as shared in my second book).
It's a special thing, that emerges naturally between two people, when the chemistry is there in person. The question is, how do I find it within me to use back on stage? Or simply to again exercise this part of my personality? I've come to realize lately, that it's actually something I can call forward myself, with a little effort and some tricks.
It's been a long journey to find the balance between being extroverted and introverted. Now, I think I have.