Owning your story
One of the most important tools we have in lifecoaching, is to own our stories. By this we mean, to acknowledge the potential for learning, growing and healing in all our life experiences. To share exactly how we feel and understand any events. To find the blessing in disguise, and to claim ownership, when we've been abused. Sometimes this even happens subconsciously, until we gain the lesson and perspective. Here is one of my examples:
When I was16 years old, I went to Hartford, Connecticut, with my mother and younger brother. She had met a man through her work at an international firm and started dating him. Thus, we were invited to see him and his older son during the summer. At the beach, the three of us kids and my mother were to enjoy a relaxed afternoon, when she suddenly pulled open my bikini-top to see how much my breasts had grown. I didn't like it and felt embarrassed. While it wasn't uncommon to for example sun-bathe topless and not wear a bra in Sweden back then, it still was a clear violation of my body in public view.
When I was 23 years old, I went to advertising school and in one of our assignments, to do a mock-ad for a local tatoo-artist. We used me as a model, since I just had gotten a tattoo. The Art Director student (who just called me last week) part of the project, took photos and had to remove my bra for a good angle, thus saw one of my boobs, which he enjoyed boasting about for fun. We got a good grade and compliments from our teachers. A couple of years later, when I was working as a Copywriter, I was asked to model for a local painter, who was teaching sketching (nude modelling for art) and so I did. That allowed me to see how different my body can be seen in the eyes and work of different people holding the pen. That beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, just as name-calling or ugliness tell us what the person labeling something as, is thinking, not what the person is or isn't.
Later, I have realised. that by allowing my body to be used for art, I could reclaim the right to my body, differently. I am in charge of who I show it to, when, where, and why.
My mother died of metastasised breast-cancer. Can it even be linked?