When I changed my name, I set out to begin creating a new self, a self not tied down by the past that I no longer wanted to haunt me or define me, in patterns of power, I no longer wanted to participate in. This decision came about after my mother had passed away in 2004, although starting much earlier in 1995, when I had begun to practice Qigong and delve into shamanic healing and other books about faith. This is also what later led me to become a life-coach.
To make this renewal, that later also led a rebirth incorporating my past, I did many writing exercises to rewrite some of my past, including looking into the positive aspects of my parents' conditioning. I was reminded of this, the other day, when I read this post on Instagram by Alberto Villoldo.
Things I'm grateful for from my Dad includes: Inheriting his intelligence, his ability to learn languages easily, his penmanship, his sense of exploration, especially when it comes to locating old deserted houses or when we traveled, especially in Europe, incorporating international cuisine early. That he took me to see many important sights, and that he encouraged me to become independent in my ways of being, as well as being creative and allowed to dress however I want, yet keep my nobility.
Things I'm grateful for from my Mum includes: Her organizing skills and her encouragement and space to let me arrange furniture in our homes and take care of our plants, her free boundaries letting me date anyone I'd like and party as much as I wanted to, as long as I would come home safely and not lie about my whereabouts. I'm also grateful for her support in me of my horseback riding, as well as acting, singing and dancing on stage that she too did, and that she shared the many compliments of my looks that she always received by others, when she showed them my photo.
These things doesn't exclude any traumas, such as the tumultuous years of their divorce and her unwillingness to take responsibility for any harm, or his unwillingness to keep contact on equal terms and harsh communication. Nonetheless, we also need to follow our ancestral line to be whole. And I'm also grateful to have learned my grandparents stories on both sides.
What are your lessons and gifts growing up? What are you grateful for that you got from your parents?