I have a drive, my own deal-breaker, to not go to bed with unfinished business, to say what needs to be said, to not hold on to what is life's most important treasure. In this lies of course the learning to trust that there will be a tomorrow anyway. It will be for us to enjoy if we all create it together. If we don't, it won't.
As someone who has the gift of writing and communication, it is somewhat my duty to God to share what I feel is necessary, to ensure that the right information gets out to the right people. This applies to my professional relationships - clients, customers, superiors and co-workers - and also to the higher ups in society whom I may or may not have a personal relationship to but sits on the authority to get things done. And to those special people who have been my friends in the past, who all have, or have had, their own room in my heart. All to take initiative to create positive change, mutual exchange of support, to correct mistakes or simply share something that will prove to be important for them some day. To give and to receive. And to make love.
Today I woke up in the middle of a dream, after getting to bed too late, unless it is my time to do so but perhaps in the wrong place, by the feeling of reconnection with a guy I have feel-good memories of the last time we talked, some 25 years ago, to whom I just have emailed half of my life-story to, because he sits in a position very much like the spider I was dreaming of. I saw him for my inner eye for a short second but only to see him fall down into a deep hole, while I received light. I thought of that for a moment, then went back to sleep. Later today when I checked my emails, he of course had sent me one right at the same time I had felt our connection. Either we can become scared of it or we can choose to use it to sustain us like in Avatar and do something good with it, together with others or alone. I wrote back of course, poking at ashes to get the flames burning again. You are chosen.
Everyone that I have once known in some sort of relationship all are working and equipped to do the right thing, to acknowledge truth and at least talk about it. Check information, look at documents, discuss the facts, compare numbers, talk to others and to me. The people who are new to me the last five years are either similar of the ones I already know and fill up the gaps, or other witnesses, partaking in unwanted conflicts with the same authorities, reluctant to be life-giving, affirming and respectful of reality within the political framework that is set in Sweden. With a media refusing to discuss most things that create an even better world to live in. I see all that you all can do, but most often don't.
I am the woman who is starting a war. Because you didn't let me keep my peace. Who are you gonna call before it's too late?
To my current favorite J.