After not having had a place to sleep, ie any money to pay for another hostel or hotel room in Frankfurt, off and on for months, less the last couple of weeks, I asked to sit down with my suitcase and trolley in the lobby at Fleming Hotel next to the Centralstation in Frankfurt. The Asian guy in the reception said ok for a couple of hours and I crawled up in one of their comfy big chairs with my found winterjacket on top of me. A group of guests sat further down with their drinks and a young woman sat behind me, also alone with a suitcase, writing something intensly. I felt oddly in common with her but at first none of us said anything to each other. After a couple of bathroom breaks watching out for oneanother at 4 am, I asked what she was writing. I came to share my reasons for being in Frankfurt, including that I had been detained without conviction and deported from the United States, but here to apply for a waiver.
The young woman from Peru almost immediately asked if I could tend to her apartment that she had rented from a guy second hand who currently lives in Switzerland, and where the police had gone in twice (once when she hadn’t been home) and turned it upside down to look for Cannabis which she had been arrested for. That can happen, I thought, and remembered what Bonnie had said to me that morning in Honolulu. I said yes of course, while she was heading towards her family in Peru. She wrote a simple contract in German and we both signed and took photos of each others’ passports. Anna had paid until the end of May so I should simply be able to stay there for a couple of weeks in exchange for cleaning. At 5 am, she went to the airport and I had some of my carried with gluten free breakfast while I waited until 9 am when my Canadian friend’s transfer of 50 euros would be visible in my bank account, this time to buy a train ticket to Gelnhausen, besides to food. I never hesitated.
It even looks a little like Maunawili in Hawaii here, with the most exqusite view and an old pilger path from the 1600’s, my ancestors were with me. The dwindling bus ride was just relaxing as I took it all in and got to see where the grocery stores and pharmacies are. When I got off, by a hunch, it was next to a Karate club and where a friendly woman appeared to my rescue, calling me a cab and waiting with me. Up into the mountain, I have finally been able to eat and sleep in an ordinary and nice apartment without being stalked for almost a week, for the first time since a year and a half. Did I mention she left me a big jar of Nutella and Volvic water bottles, besides the mess that made me feel useful and to be a mediator to the concerned, but gossipy, neighbors?
The week before I was recommended to seek out the help at the Liebfrauen Kirche with its sisters and brothers (nuns and monks serving fresh homemade bread for breakfast that I unfortunately can’t eat as gluten-intolerant). I was given help to go to a safe shelter for women where I was going to be allowed to stay for three nights, over a holiday and waiting for another reply from the Swedish embassy about a return ticket or simply money to that, and an emergency loan towards food and shelter. None again. I went to the directed church and was greeted by a sister that together with the other women, showed me where they stored conveniant IKEA-beds and where to shower and wash clothes, while also being allowed to use the kitchen.
Meanwhile, one of the Filippino women at Frankfurt International Church found me an opportunity to start working cleaning rooms at a hotel. Not so bad, good hours and enough pay would set me free for a couple of months. I went to their staff manager, who gave me the adress to the office, where I was welcome and just needed to get my German tax id and records. Finally, I thought! And with less hassle, since this is within EU where I don’t need any visa to work and live. But, at the Burger-amt (the official authority), someone had removed me from the German records and I would have to file a new address again, ie also loosing the number of months I’ve already lived here. Luckily, the cleaning company said I could just start working anyway and we’d fix it by the paycheck.
Finally getting some sleep early and having to get up early at the shelter.in a church, I thought this could become the perfect opportunity to be supported back into the workplace with good healthy habits, so I could start making a living. But, after two nights I had to leave, since the sister thought I should go back to Sweden, ie back to being homeless, unemployed and stalked while sabotaged by some sick obsessive famous woman, that was the reason I left last year, just like it was in 2010, since nothing has changed eventhough I have! And as if hotel cleaning would be a competitive threat to her? Am I supposed to be forced to go on welfare instead of working for a normal little salary, even as a maid?! (Never mind a job as an Organizational consultant or a Management position, besides starting my own business.) So, not sleeping for more than three nights again in a row, doesn’t make it possible to start working. But, when society fail us so much our survival is at stake, the only alternative is to walk the path of a traditional healer, the same way I did in Honolulu, where I also was offered work, first in 2010 at the university campus as a writing tutor – perfect for me as a copywriter and who has promised my mentor to forward his teachings – and then later during spring 2011 simply at the nightshift at Walmart to pay rent, both made impossible due to the declining of tax-id number by the state. And why had many of my regular job applications been returned prematurely in the process while I was living in Sweden 2012-18? Job applications for positions I have already have had similar or that I at least have the education for? In Swedish, while offers kept coming for translation gigs in the United States that I had to say no to most. Sabotage that the stalker has made for years that the Swedish police and courts has turned a blind eye towards, probably ironically since I don’t have a job and/or lots of money and followers, that in turn is hindered by the obsessive Swedish famous woman who is constantly copying from my content and poses like me in her photos.
The Healer’s path is different, a step aside from the normal way of society, but forced by the same. We are not a tribe of looks or heritage only, we’re a tribe of the same kind of hearts. In Hawaii, we call it Aloha. To clear, heal, restore, forgive, make right and peace with. To live in harmony with the land and the laws of nature. And with each other.
But why are you not letting me walk the same as the rest of society? When did it become suspicious to want to have your own income and home elsewhere than where you are stalked?
UPDATE: I had to leave within a week on the 14th, but before that besides cleaning and doing laundry, I did Ho'oponopono to find forgiveness for the times when I had to terminate someone's sublet lease for my apartment early and for ordering too many things before I could pay. The owner got angry with Anna when I was cursed the day after I have published something, bringing forth envy and fear of exposing someone's fraud who doesn't want me to live a good life with my own readers without her. He asked the German police to come, which in turn became a blessing since they at the same time that day thereby protected me against the Swedish police and court who tried at the same time to prosecute me for something I didn't do. I also received financial assistance by the town of Gelnhausen and elsewhere to live before returning to Sweden to have one of my own lawsuits tried.