My experience is, that the traumatic event that we endured when we were little and when our inner child left us, is what we have to relive somewhat emotionally, to become whole again. Integrating our inner child thus, is a process of understanding the fears that the inner child has and to console it with our own parental self. We often become afraid of something that we already have faced, we don't want it to happen again, and while we can't control this, we can learn to live with more self-compassion and be more vigilant and attentive to our needs.
I've felt in contact with my inner child for a couple of years now, growing during my stay in Portugal 2019-20. I've learned that the most important thing is to always consider and include her for all my decisions. She simply wants to be asked, heard and made safe. This can mean little things like letting my bed-lamp be on for a little while, when I go to bed. It can mean to take medicine when I feel ill, and it can be to ask her what we should do next, during the day.
There seems to be a misunderstanding that our inner child is only about finding joy. This is not so. For me, joy is an elated sensation that lasts only for a couple of seconds, when we manage to do something we didn't think we could, or simply doing something particularly fun. It's like receiving an unexpected reward, not with Ego but by the Holy spirit.
Would you like to feel more connected to your inner child? Find an example of a traumatic event growing up and let yourself grieve this loss. Be sure to express your devotion and commitment to him/her with a sincere presence and hearfulness, and you'll soon begin to feel it wanting to communicate with you. Listen inwardly.
More about healing your inner child can be found in these posts.
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