Not wanting to go to sleep

I have always been a night owl. In the evenings, when I'm not going to be interrupted by others' demands, I often feel I can be the most productive, whether that is to apply for jobs, write podcasts and record them, or practice yoga and dancing. If I just would continue to directly go to sleep after I shower and eat and maybe watch TV for 45 min, this would probably be fine, but I don't. I get stuck scrolling on Instagram instead, so what is it there that keeps me there?

It dawned upon me a couple of days ago, that it might just be because I planned, hoped and still rather would live in the United States, where I find men who wants to date me, where I can be my positive self and take action towards fulfilling my goals for work and starting a business. I feel that on Instagram I see people I can connect with, people who can become, or lead me to, my tribe. And where I can express myself without being harassed by other envious women. I want to be there, but I am here.

If I had anything positive in Sweden, such as my own job and income, my own home without authorities meddling or stalker intruding. If I had new friends, or if my old friends would care at least once in a decade. If I could go and practice dancing once a week instead of just at home, maybe I could see a future here. But I haven't and I don't. And every time I try, I either become awakened at 4 am to 6 am and have my entire week's capacity disappear or have to deal with another obstacle someone else puts in my way. Or even just never getting any positive answers.

So, I do need to go to bed on time. But I also need to have a desired life to be in.