God's reassurance

After not sleeping nearly enough and not well, I still managed to get up on time and get ready to go to the dentist for my yearly check-up. These visits always make me feel both a bit dread but most of all nauseated and having to go to the bathroom, not knowing if I can make it there. Unless this is a perceived threat that my Swedish enemy does on purpose to try to destroy my mana, as it's called in Hawai'i. Mana, sitting in teeth. Power, energy, essence. This, since it can happen days, I have nothing planned outside my home, too.

After taking some medicine and eating a little breakfast, I headed out and onto the subway. Breathing through the stops and then changing the line. Then something shifted...

I felt God's presence again, calming me down and then I heard an Asian girl speak American English to the woman next to me. It turned out that she was from Singapore. Immediately, I felt so much safer. So reminded of the grace of that elderly man from Singapore that helped me with $100 in Honolulu when I was broke and didn't know how to pay for my hostel, when I had run out of studentloan. And how fitting, since I just had thought of my fellow Swedish classmate just the other day, who moved to Singapore after getting his degree. And how we had read a book about the becoming of Singapore as the modern country it is today, in our National Community Change class at Hawaii Pacific University. Hearing them talk next to me in the subway car, reminded me of the wide world and how I'm still part of that, eventhough I have been isolated here in Stockholm for quite some time. Felt so moved and so grateful. After a while, they all stepped off.

Right in front of me, sat a young Swedish woman with her boyfriend, a bit roughed up having not slept either it seemed, and perhaps having done drugs. Nonetheless, when she got a phone call, she spoke of how hard it's to be homeless and how she needed to buy Vitamin water and avoid all things gluten. I smiled silently. Whether, it's an awareness trend that has grown the last decade through me, or just a coincidence, it still reassured me too, before I got off.

Inside the dentist office, I noticed a Picasso painted poster on the wall and thought of my dad's, while waiting for my sedation to kick in and the radio played Hawaiian slack-key guitar. The examination went well and we decided to fix what is needed shortly.

When I came home, my dad had sent me $100.