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Writer's pictureHannah Telluselle

Handling emotional labor

Updated: Dec 9, 2024

About a month ago, I watched this video on Instagram with Dr Shanté Holley, about handling emotional labor, and felt it resonating with me, so I decided to look it up more and interpret my life accordingly.


Emotional labor, is when others ask us to suppress our emotions, on behalf of them, whether for work or at home. And therefor, we don't get the validation and time to process our authentic way of being, the way we need, to really work through any issues. It's like being asked to fake our demeanor, instead of conducting respectful and honest dialogues on equal grounds.

I've felt imposed a heavy emotional labor for many years in Sweden, especially by authorities, or people in authority, which is what I've previously referred to as a strive to always be politically correct, which I'm not, although diplomatic and fair. By this I mean, that they well know how their decisions affect me, both in terms of literally hindering me from getting my physical needs met, and emotionally how distressing and upsetting this is. It's like a form of abuse, which in turn puts me in a negative mindset and with lots of anger to deal with. Anger that they produce, needed to defend myself and my rights, while they don't take responsibility for the consequences they create through their decisions.


This in turn can have an affect on my writing, job applications (especially to be able to lifecoach), and my interactions with others. While using English online instead of Swedish, allows me to better detach and keep my true self better intact, as well as asking the rest of the world for help, I shouldn't have to. For several decades, I've felt that authorities want to take charge of my life and my decisions, rather than respect and support, especially financially, which in turn would create a better sense of safety, and make room for becoming more self-sufficient, instead of triggering more PTSD and forcing me to write endless appeals and beg on the street.


The way Swedish authorities, impose emotional labor on me, besides the upset that becomes the result of their decisions, is of course even more threatening to my health, assuming that I should always display an inferior and polite tone, as if I should excuse myself for even existing, less be allowed to assert neither my rights, nor my actual self and my actual competence. As if they constantly want to be in a higher hierarchical position than me, exercise their power, while still craving my attention and creating a drama, instead of letting me focus forward and be loving.


What do they win? Why would it be bad for anyone in Sweden (or anywhere), to let me rest and recuperate, and then work on my level, to the best of my ability?

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