How I've changed

While some changes happen in small steps, some simply requires making a firm decision and sticking with it. Some changes are initiated by ourselves and some encouraged by others or even forced upon us. And some comes as the result of changes in our environment and culture in society as a whole.

When looking back to see how I've changed and hopefully improved, I think of these examples:

Letting go of horoscopes - I used to be a huge fan of horoscopes and astrology, even subscribing to one especially tailored to my exact time and birthplace. While it was inspiring and at times even alerting me of things to be more careful about, it still was a power I placed outside of myself, that I longed for not doing and finding within instead. And, after returning from my ICE detention in the United States, living almost a year without internet and horoscopes, I decided to go all in, into my developing faith as a Christian and be more true to the Bible. So, I did! I haven't bought or read or sought any horoscopes for more than a decade!

Exercising self-compassion - After daring to put my head under water for the first time since I was a child and almost drowned, which in itself was a huge achievement that I too just decided to do and could, it became much easier to really exercise self-compassion. To understand literally, how some of my fears have derived from very factual events that have been on a life and death-level.

Being more careful with my money - When I've received a huge grant from the Swedish House of Nobility a couple of years in a row, I've naturally been more careful about spending them too soon. While it might not look like it due to the Swedish social security bureaucracy and denials, I've been circumspect to spend them on things I never would hesitate about before, often asking my spirit guide and checking in with myself properly first. Shopping online, has enabled me to seek out exactly what I want, to the best price, with less stressing around in stores and perhaps buying other things not as needed or more expensive. I've also developed my own style more that I stick to, rather than just following each trend, but this might have to do with age too of course.

Sticking to boundaries towards others - Another thing that I did upon my return to Sweden from the United States and trying to rekindle various friendships, and just noticing the majority still expecting and assuming that I should be the one calling, I stopped doing so. It's either mutual or it isn't. If I'm not on others minds and hearts as a priority to keep in touch with, then the friendship isn't good enough for me. I've also promised to not contact someone anymore, and haven't, for more than 5 years.

Becoming more present and better at listening - Thanks to my university degree in Workscience and the extra course in Conversation technique for coaching and mentoring, I've been able to develop and practice much more presence and being a better listener professionally. Overall, I practice presence a lot more and have stopped doing several things at once. A simple act like not listening to music (or watching TV, or listening to podcasts) while I do other things, even mundane chores, have enabled me a much more calm and better focus with less stress. My thoughts come and go like for everybody else too I'm sure, but I don't get caught in them as much anymore and can catch myself when I start spinning into rage due to others' lack of listening and communication, especially after negative decisions by authorities. I can also speak a little more slower thanks to speaking English a lot, since that have required me to slow down, given it's my second language.

Healed my grief and found joy - Grieving my mother has been quite an undertaking and a process lasting for many years. In Portugal 2019-20, I could really let go of that and even found moments of pure elated joy, and a reconnection to my inner child, which made it all worth it.

How have you changed and improved your life? What is left to do? To understand more about how I can coach you through change, you can see this slideshow that I'm presenting here.