How to take responsibility

For many years when I grew up, both my parents tried to put blame on me and refused to take responsibility for how their decisions, actions and communication sometimes harmed me and/or my brother. Just as many times, they asked me for advice as if I was the grown-up and not them. That is why I assumed a Parental role, as it is defined in the school Transaction Analysis, early and kept for several decades. Becoming a coach and healing my inner child, has enabled me to set boundaries more firmly and not fall prey to others' refusal to be held accountable, while ensuring that I get my needs met. I'm pretty sure my problems with authorities in Sweden is an extension of the same as when I grew up. One would think they could be good role-models instead, but not so. Without compassion, this isn't possible. In fact, the two FBI-agents I met with after reporting a threat in Honolulu 2010, confirmed that their roles in society is to be a better mom and dad, than what most have had.

So, how do you take responsibility and what do I mean by it? We take responsibility by owning what we've said and done, such as confirming what we've written, said, decided, chosen or executed, as well as what we've failed to do. Even more importantly, it's a matter of understanding the consequences this creates for another person, especially when it's done to someone inferior by formal position. It can be to ask to clarify, to look up more information, to check with others and to negotiate in order to come to an agreement, that is a solution. Most of all, it's a matter of simply acknowledging any mistakes that one has done and correct them. To be hands-on. To just do it.