Finding our peace
Updated: Aug 31, 2020
My first steady boyfriend Lars once told me that it is better to be a pessimist and assume that people will disappoint you than the other way around, simply because then you would become less disappointed. How I argued with him about his negativity, which of course wasn't so bad.
There is a lot of buzz in the self-help genre about being loving together with the assumption that peace starts with you. Does it? If so, what do you to create peace? Do you talk with an upset person and try to make things right? Do you apologize when you are found at fault? And most of all, do you create harm and conflict rather than creative solutions together with the person in question?
The only way to create long-lasting peace and justice is through assuming responsibility for your communication and action (remember not doing anything is also an action), so ask yourself the following:
Why is this person upset with me?
What was my intention with what I said and did?
How was his or her reaction?
Is there a problem that I have created? A loss?
What is the solution?
How can this be reconciled?
What character flaw (or virtue) within me has created this upset?
What do I need to improve or change?
When these practical questions have been answered, it becomes easier to forgive both yourself and the other person with compassion, knowing that faltering is inevitable. Doing the right thing and trusting in the higher good, however, will always enable you to receive peace of mind and heart.