• Hannah Telluselle

Creating balance in your relationships

Have you ever felt like you're over-giving in your relationships? I used to, some years ago, but decided to change the dynamics. Most often, I've been the one taking initiative to call and to meet, while at the same time, also felt at others' mercy whether financially in need of help, or to tag along their already decided on venue, rather than going with my suggestions. Maybe it was unconscious behavior or maybe it was others' wish to feel superior by assuming power. This doesn't feel equal to me. So, how do we change these patterns?

First, you have to recognise your own needs and see whether these are being met and to what expense. You could perhaps feel included and belong at a first sight, but not at all when it comes to your own preferred ways of interacting, such as not always being the one calling. Second, you might have to communicate this and be ready to see these relationships ending, since most of the time, people don't change, only you do. And third, dare to have patience both with yourself and with others that are new in getting to know you. Soon, you'll encounter another group of peers, that might honor your needs and preferences better, just as you might hopefully too be more attentive.


This type of boundary setting is to raise your standards and create more positivity in your life. It's also one of the things life coaching is about.

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