Dealing with disappointment
It has occurred to me lately, that I should develop a stronger awareness of how I deal with disappointments. What I do take pride in though, is my ability to do things anyway, or continue by doing something different. As long as we are doing things, we are not stifled or stalled, less feel it. However, we must of course also be allowed to feel disappointment when it arises. Do you?
I grew up in a family, where I seldom expressed disappointment. Instead, I often felt belittled by my Dad, who for the most times always criticised my every accomplishment. If I came home with a prize from the local riding club's competition, I was told that anyone can learn how to horseback ride, and that if I came home late (usually never more than 15-30 minutes or so, depending on rides, buses or the like) again, I wouldn't be allowed to go there.
The same thing applied for my grades, which usually were above average, and having started school directly in 2nd grade, I was always a year ahead of my classmates intellectually, but always a year behind to my age, younger. Nonetheless, my Dad continued his criticism by saying I could have done better, even when I had gotten an A.
Most of all, I felt threatened.
Thus, my life became about surviving early. No time or space for disappointment. Everything became about achieving, never being. My Dad kept the key to my right to be uniquely myself, and that it would be enough. By affirming this now, as an adult, I create more space for me to just be, to just feel. And, whenever someone criticise me nowadays, I don't take it as an offense, it usually is a whole lot less than my Dad did.
How do you deal with disappointment?