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  • Writer's pictureHannah Telluselle

Understanding PTSD

Updated: Jan 15

We all undergo traumas to a various extent, but it's only when we're still affected by it, so that it hinders us, that we have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Unfortunately, I've experienced flashbacks from time to time, which is a vivid memory that makes me feel like I'm reliving the same thing again, including feeling as if I was in the same place where it happened, even though I'm physically sitting in my apartment for example. It can be a similar sound that triggers it, something new happening reminding me of it, or seeing something. It can also give me bad dreams and a lower threshold for stress. Above all, I've little patience with unauthentic people playing games for their own power-tripping. But, having undergone these traumas, mostly in Sweden, have also enabled me to feel greater compassion and understanding my true needs on a much deeper level, than before. I'm trying to summarize what and when has happened for medical purposes, so I thought I'd share it here:

  • Fleeing into a military helicopter when I was 2, with my Dad running because of grenades falling over Lebanon, where we had went for him to write something about it. When I was about 9 years old, I also became frightened by Swedish military helicopters flying close to the ground during a snowy winter, where they were transporting sick people to the hospital roof, nearby where we lived. To me, this is when I first got symptoms of PTSD.

  • Witnessing my mother bleeding heavily and been taken with an ambulance to have an emergency C-section, when I was 4 years old.

  • Almost drowning at the age of 5 in a swimming pool in Denmark.

  • Getting a concussion, inside a darkened classroom, when I went up to change the volume on a tape-recorder as asked by our substitute teacher, and tripped over the cord at the age of 7.

  • Seeing my grandmother Maria's tattooed number from German prison-camps during WWII and learning about what she has undergone.

  • Being awakened by firefighters, asking us to evacuate and use our balcony door to enter the neighboring apartment that was on fire, in the middle of the night, was also quite frightening at the age of 9. Decades later, I also came home to my attic being on fire in the apartment building, I was living in.

  • Becoming violently kissed by a boy in my age, made me run home, when I was about 9 years old.

  • My parents' divorce during my early teens, my Mum getting drunk one time, my Dad raping her another time, and being forced to live elsewhere for a while.

  • Being inappropriately touched by a co-worker at my first full-time job at the age of 19.

  • Becoming sexually assaulted by a man, I had gone home to for dinner, when I was 21 years old.

  • Hurting my right knee badly, with a torn off ligament.

  • Witnessing an old lady getting hit by a car, prompting me to call for an ambulance.

  • Miscarrying at the age of 24, while in a relationship with a co-worker.

  • Having my Master's degree exam-paper flunked, although I had worked on it for months with proper instruction and corrections, and even though I've scored several A's both before and after this.

  • Watching my mother die from cancer 2004.

  • Being made homeless by the Swedish state 2009, after they withdrew my benefit with false accusations of fraud.

  • Being stalked physically for 14 years, in Sweden, United States, Germany and Portugal.

  • Evacuating because of a tsunami threat in Honolulu 2010.

  • Detained at an American federal prison for 338 days, including put in isolation after reporting a male guard for inappropriate touching and remarks 2012.

  • Chased by Swedish social welfare office workers, due to their made up diagnosis of psychosis, due to my US BOP-number, in 2014.

  • Subjected to libel by a famous Swedish woman, who wanted to avoid being sued for copyright infringement 2015 and 2016.

  • Pushed to the ground outside of a store by a stranger in Portugal 2020.

  • Falsely suspected of having psychosis again by Swedish authorities, but this time because of my submitted evidence of plagiarisms, libel and stalking including computer intrusions, that has never been tried, read or discussed. And hereto locked up for two years longer than sentence, alleging that I haven't undergone ANY traumas and with distorted and falsified facts.

  • Loosing my upper dental bridge and undergoing surgery 2020-23. Lower getting loose in 2023 too.

  • Undergone surgery for removing Malignt melanoma in my skin and lymph-nodes 2022.


The worst part is, that the majority of this could have been completely avoided, or at least stopped and cleared up by proper investigation, hearings and trials. But at this, Sweden faults.



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