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  • Writer's pictureHannah Telluselle

Taking responsibility for your decisions and actions

For many, many years, I've felt mistreated, misjudged, suspected of and ignored. This is especially prevalent in Sweden, but there are also instances in the United States that this is true. Why is that, and what is the common issue?

To me, it's a matter of not taking responsibility for the decisions and actions you make that have a direct impact on my life. Not replying, is also an action, but most of all, it's about decisions made by authorities. I can trace this all the way back to how I felt mistreated by my mother sometimes of course, and the fact that she refused to take responsibility for how she had made me feel unsafe or hurt me, always blaming something else. The question is why. Why do people refuse to take responsibility for the effect their decisions have? Am I doing the same? No, I'm not at all. I'm always replying for example. So, what is it then?

I've come up with a couple of theories. Either the person recognize my leadership that is inherent in my personality and experience, and thus feel insecure or actually sit and wait for me to take initiative, although I already have. Or it could be a seeking of power of another, perhaps people feel better if they can make someone else feel worse. That's not going to last though. In fact, I've found it quite empowering to take responsibility and own my decisions and actions. There is a freedom in that. All in all, this is what I know and believe in: If you refuse to acknowledge another person's greatness (light, expertise, kindness), you will not become acknowledged either. So, why don't you?

Dare to change the perspective. Whenever you feel negative about someone else. What is good about them? What is their application, question, appeal or e-mail enabling you to do? What can you say yes to? What would happen if you said yes, instead of no? What would you loose if you let me sleep well, eat well, practice well, and work well? Are you feeling so disempowered yourself?

The conclusion then must be, people have a problem with honesty and authenticity, whether that is showing through posting fake smiles or hiding behind a facade of professionalism and authority, neither is honest. If you think about it: Has it ever become a problem to be honest? Does that give you a hard time to sleep or accept yourself in the mirror?

The less dialogue and the longer it takes to reply, the more guilty you seem.

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