I've lived for more than 52 years and I have never known until today, that there was a Nazi woman among the refugees that the Red Cross White buses rescued to Sweden in 1945. Her name is Vera Oredsson, born Schimanski, and she still lives here. She has been prosecuted for hate speech several times, but been acquitted. I don't know which makes me more sick - that she is leading the Swedish new Nazi-party and has since WWII, or that the Swedish authorities let her.
I visited the new Holocaust museum in Stockholm today and made some insights. My grandmother Maria, must have tried to reach me through spirit with obvious signs to warn me, when I lived in Hawaii, that I missed, or misinterpreted, out of my own ignorance and naivety. One of the days, when ICE were taking me back into custody after we had picked up my belongings at the YMCA in Honolulu 2011, a car drove in front of us with the license plate stating "JJJ ..." I liked the idea of so called "Angelnumbers" (by Doreen Virtue) and pondered who the J's were. Could they be standing for Jesse, John and James? Or J. As in Jew. A prison number without a crime and a deportation to follow. My grandmother Maria, wasn't Jewish, but Polish and illiterate, wherefore she was taken to the German work-camps. Fast forward to 2014, and a woman named Vanja Fernström, wanted to have me submitted to a psychiatric ward for psychosis, upon sharing my real life story online and compiled into my second book: The Call for Divine Fathering about ICE's incarceration. Today, I learned that this was also a perspective held by some Swedish politicians about the Holocaust:
I now got it confirmed, the Swedish reluctance to believe in the authenticity of the atrocities that took place through a display of news-clippings. I couldn't help but think of my own father and his way of often arguing. He isn't denying the Holocaust, but called my grandmother paranoid when she was afraid of being captured by the Swedish police. Another country, another language where she had been taken. No wonder, she didn't feel comfortable sharing so much of her story. Not only, does one have to relive the trauma doing so, which is very painful, but of course the Nazi-woman in the White buses Vera Oredsson must have been quite intimidating, alongside these kind of intellectual refusals to apply compassion. Maybe she was even put here to silence the witnesses. Vera was allegedly born in Berlin with a Swedish mother. Since this has shaped the world and was part of my upbringing, it's become part of my fate, my destiny, to tell, and to compare with my own experience at FDC Honolulu. The first thing I thought of, when I saw the sprinklers in the ceiling in the SHU, was that it could might as well come gas out of them. Yet, the Swedish psychiatrists at RMV don't believe I have PTSD? Luckily, I shared cell with a German woman for a while. She shared how much it weighs on her heart (enough to not wanting any children) to have this in her country's history. It has shaped us all.
The little laundry-bag at the museum, too caught my eye. When I was in Portugal, I felt a specific kind of blessing, when I saw two small plastic bags, tied like this one. My grandmother worked as a housekeeper, doing laundry for others. The memory keepsake book, was similar to one I received growing up. I'm not sure if my cousin has any artefacts left from my grandmother (her Dad was my grandfather's first child by another wife). Maybe, I can find a photo of her tattoed arm, showing her German prison-number. She wasn't Jewish, she was Catholic. Nonetheless, I also found out the cruel fact that it was Sweden who wanted "J":s stamped on people's identity-cards, or create a rule to have a visa:
The literal translation into English, NOT on their website, reads: "Both Lili's and Walther's identity-cards were stamped with a capital J. The letter came about after Nazi-Germany had annexed Austria 1938. More Jews wanted to flee and Switzerland and Sweden demanded that Nazi-Germany would differentiate Jews from non-Jews or impose need for visas. Nazi-Germany therefore began to stamp all Jews' passports or identity-cards with "J" so it became easier to see who was Jewish."
I have objected to another Swedish new nazi party's name to the Swedish Patent Bureau (where I registered my own Telluselle) in 2014, who used to call themselves the "Swedish party" which I objected to on the grounds that they didn't represent all Swedish people, and they dissolved shortly thereafter. I also confirmed a young blonde woman's longing to be called Aryan at a library discussion. The point is not the racial categorization, which is apparent, but the notion that any would be superior over the other. However, there is another Nazi-party too in Sweden, that Vera has been leading, called the Nordic Realm Party, among others. She may be 95 years old now, but boy will I figure out a message to her. I also saw a child psychologist a couple of months, when my parents divorced, called Vera.
This quote provided me with some more confirmation, and reads: "Humanity will be ill, when the war is over." (Gunnar Myrdal), which takes us to the present time. Who gets to decide what is ill and what is healthy? Is there such a thing, or is humanity just traumatised people that authorities want to clean out? The point is, the real ill, are too ill with too much power and authority by their hand, to understand it themselves. Only a healthy person can see what is sick. And health, starts in our hearts.