As I was walking home from the subway today, I was planning what to snack on and thought of having some cold fruit-soup, ie rosehip - a common thing in Sweden and a sandwich. Immediately, I sensed my inner child and asked for her reassurance, whereupon I felt how she was shaking her head and didn't want to. It got me a little bewildered, because it's good, nutrious, and nothing I get ill from eating. Then, she sent me an inner image of a memory from my early childhood.
When I was about 2 years old, my Dad thought I was playing with my food and decided to pour the whole bowl on top of my head. He of course, also snapped a photo of it, that I've seen but no longer have, so he could ridicule and remind me all my life. While this might look harmless and to quiet an upset toddler, it still was violent and bad. I therefor, said this to my inner child and reassured her, that he was wrong and this would never happen again. Did I even become afraid of eating with him and others because of this incident?
While continuing walking home, another violent scare also came to mind. At my first full-time employment as a copywriter, one of the senior associates, became angry at something I can't recall, and threw down a bookcase in the conference room, close to where I sat. Just because I didn't get a physical bruise from it, didn't make it less violent. Some of the other employees came in and calmed him down. I had a private relationship with him for a while, but ended it, whereupon I was let go.
Being a both smart, pretty, and creative woman, seems to trigger emotions of inferiority in others, especially men, who then need to express a stance of superiority to compensate for their own feelings.
Comments