Healing the past
Updated: Sep 22, 2020
I have always been easy to talk to for most people and have this ability to pull forward the truth, or should I say, people simply relax and are themselves with me. Both in Sweden and in the United States. It might become that their real self clashes with their role on the job, or with others, but nonetheless, I hope it at least encourages awareness and healing.
One of the guys I met in Honolulu in 2004 and 2005 (whom I met again in 2010), was once fondled by his nanny growing up. I was actually told this by a shared friend of ours at first but even so, it did help me understand some of why and how he would touch me. Gently at times, too close and stiff at others and not really with an open body-language. And not always trusting women. Unless it was all our cultural differences. He later became a massage therapist which I look upon as very healing, after too having been deported, although in 2006 from Indonesia.
Late last night I released some of the grief and memories of abuse that I was subjected to myself in my early teens, by a "summer-family" (for foster care, while my mother was in Eastbourne, UK to work as a teacher for EF's language courses for youth). I was about 12 years old and she yanked me into the shower to force me to wash my hair by her. Now, I have reported her.
Brave! It is. The bravest thing is not being a strong leader (which I too can be) but to admit in feeling how much of a real victim I have been and how victimized I had become. Feeling it fully as an adult, enables us to release it. All in due time and in safety.
How do you behave and why? What can you do to return to the good wholeness from which all life emerged? With love to present time.
Photo borrowed of Yahweh Passim Nam.