There are two ways to deal with dilemmas. One way is through back-bending ourselves through years of therapy, trying to change our behavior, although in many cases they are valid and healthy responses to traumas. If my experience is, that I almost got raped as a little girl by a fellow classmate, it's good instincts to be aware whenever I enter similar situations. It would go completely against my need for safety, to assume that it's just a ghost of the past, even though it is. We don't want traumas to repeat themselves. This is part of PTSD.
From a psychological perspective, I've found it fascinating that I often see myself having to choose between two men, where one is more into me and the other, I'm more into. This has made me wonder, which one is the right to choose. Probably neither! You see, when I was 9 years old, I was into a boy, but it was his friend that wanted to be with me, I guess, he saw my interest as an opportunity for him instead. The same thing happened in Honolulu 2004, when I found myself interested in a guy named David, but his friend Gene, sought me. Unfortunately, many women of today's society have been led to believe that if you're single, you should just be grateful and accept whomever is interested. Not at all! Then it becomes based on a fear of not finding someone to live with. But, how do I break this pattern? What is it in me that attracts this? Or, does it even have to do with me? Maybe not. I think of it rather as sexual predating, stemming from our natural needs, but not of love.
But, if I apply a spiritual point of view, it becomes much easier. The second guy represents temptation and the third (next) showing up is right to go with. And, if there isn't any third in the near vicinity, it's to wait until the special chemistry and respectful curiosity, paired with possibility, is there.