This post is not going to be about being online, sharing posts, and certainly not about ROI. Unless, we could use that, as an analogy to understand our investments, when it comes to relationships. After moving or otherways going through changes, it might be time to start new relationships, both friendships and more romantic ones. I've been known to be quite open, and share a lot about my personal life, my past and so forth. Should I share less, be more mysterious, or simply evade anything that was bad? In this gossip prone world, I think by far, it's more likely that our skeletons in the closet will be drawn out by someone else behind our back, if we don't open the door ourselves. I think of it, as owning my story.
So, I don't want to share less, but perhaps more defined. And what I really would like, is for others to share more about themselves to me. Sharing and spending time is investing, but what will I get out of it, if you don't share too? I find sharing, to be a good foundation to build trust, as well as fostering a greater understanding of someone's needs and whims. The way we react, are often set in patterns deriving from past relationships or even our childhood. Learning something about it, can enable me to better respond and not take things personally, whenever we might have a quarrel or simply a difference of opinion, but instead be a faclitator for healing. I don't mind discussing things at work, or in an opinion for a newspaper or blog, but at home? No, never for the sake of discussing. To me, this comes close to getting into an argument for no reason at all, more than the heat of the moment, that I know some men enjoy. I don't. I just want peace and harmony. But, this of course, has to do with how we discuss. If the purpose is to win and be right, or if it's to solve a problem, or define one. So often, people seem to succumb to the former, with little to no interest in learning about the opposite side, or better yet, work towards creating a possible solution.
Can I start a new relationship without delving into my past? Can we focus on what I like or dislike, without discussing why? Can you respect my standpoint in certain issues, without learning how I made them? Would you understand the choices I've made, if you don't learn the conditions under which they were made? Again: By moving abroad, it becomes natural to only focus forward. That is how I most all, would like it. Why I am, where I am going, for how long, my plans, my ideas and wishes. So, this concludes my view on staying in Sweden: Here people are kept in the past, assuming us to remain who and how we've used to be. In a new country, everything is new, and thus there is no need to look into the past, since there most often isn't any on location. Here is here, and there is there.
What creates depth in a relationship, is the depth of our stories. But perhaps, better told in sequels. The depth of our emotions though, I think, are defined through what we have done for each other, and how we have stood by each other, in times of trial. Most of all, any good relationships need time and space without stress. How do we solve that, between our other commitments?
Read more in my upcoming book: The Call for Divine Harmony - finding pearls of wisdom, out next year!