Striving to survive
There is a hidden gem in the struggle to survive. When you are feeling threatened on a life and death level, whether it's the threat of physical violence outside your door and home intrusions and thefts, or decision making and lack of income, they all are real threats. To cope with these threats, we must put ourselves a little aside. We can't go about our day with the same peace and ease, or even do what we planned because we need to put our ourselves in safety first.
The beauty of this though, is that we shed the layers of conditioning without even thinking about it. We simply must take action, and do with great focus and efficiency, so there is no room for dramas, powerplays, scheming or strategic moves for a relationship. It's life getting dead serious.
And then, phew! Perhaps we feel a little safer at some point, or at some place, and thus can begin to relax and rejoice in our survival. Then, it becomes time to process the trauma and to deal with its consequences, but nonetheless the peace that follows, are so great, we don't want to loose it, so again, we don't want the dramas, powerplays, scheming or strategic moves for a relationship anyway. It's an acknowledgment of the little time we have, that we just want to cherish.
So, the real lesson for me, is not to learn to appreciate life more, but to dare wait and acknowledge that I do have time.